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Most parents will agree that disciplining is probably one of the hardest parts of being a parent. There is nothing that will work for every child, and not every child will respond to discipline. You have to use your wits to figure out exactly what will work, while at the same time trying not to permanently psychologically damage your child. Here are some tips on handling the challenges.
If you don’t have follow through, start.
Lots of us say things to our children, and then what actually happens is completely different. Then we sit around and wonder why they won’t listen to us. It’s because they don’t believe us. When you pick a punishment, stick to that punishment.
If it’s not working, change what you’re doing.
We have a tendency to get stuck on one thing that we like, and hope that eventually it will work. That’s not actually true though. If your child isn’t responding to say - timeout, then you need to find something else that they respond to. It could be taking away a toy for a length of time. You’ll figure it out, but you have to be open to changing.
Validate the anger.
The first thing we want to do when children act up is to use discipline. However, there is a good chance that there is a reason they are acting up, other than to drive us crazy. They could be tired, or sick, or even hungry. As much as you need to discipline the actions, you also need to sit down and have a conversation about what’s going on. Hopefully they’ll be able to give you an idea.
Give yourself a timeout.
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Okay this sounds, weird but it’s oddly effective. Instead of giving the little one a timeout, tell them that you’re taking a timeout, and then walk away. Try not to talk to them too much during your time out. This has worked for some people, because the child doesn’t want the parent to be in trouble any more than they are in trouble.
Debrief.
It really doesn’t matter what punishment you use, you need to make sure to talk to your little one when it’s done. Get them to apologize for their behaviour - and if you’ve lost your temper and reacted in a way that you feel bad about - you apologize as well. It’s important that children understand that discipline doesn’t mean you love them less, and it’s important for them to hear you say sorry too.
There are so many different techniques to use for discipline, but at the end of the day you need to figure out what’s going to work with your little one. Everyone will have an opinion on how you should handle things, but only you know what works for your child.